Snafus and Guillotines

Welcome Comrades,

Well, long time, no see. Right to it, then...

Most of you know the term "snafu," refers to a screw-up, but do you know where it comes from? It was passed on to us from the U.S. Military. It originated during World War II as a sarcastic comment about standard operating procedures. It's an acronym for S.N.A.F.U., or "Situation Normal, All Fucked Up." I think it aptly describes our current political situation, because the mechanisms of state are functioning perfectly, which is to say, not. At least not for we, the people. Yet, the government is working exactly as our Founding Fathers intended. What the hell am I talking about, you ask?

When we were young, we all believed a jolly man in a red suit gave presents to good little children, but then, we grew up. Is there any more credibility to the story that a group of rich, old white men in powdered wigs and stockings dreamed up a utopian world of equality where common laborers, women, and black people could enjoy their same privileges? Why would they? Because they were so wise and good? Please. It's a child's fantasy. They never imagined in their wildest dreams that the lower classes could govern themselves. They just wanted to get out of paying taxes. Thank God they did revolt, or we might be paying a tax on our tea today... um, well, I guess we do pay tax on it, now, but that's totally different...

If you still don't believe me, think about this: We started our new nation with a "Declaration of Independence!" Strong words, huh? Independent from what? England, right? Well, really, from the constraints of English law on American commerce. Once the revolution was over, the Founding Fathers made sure we got back to work making money for the ruling class. What changed for the average citizen? Nothing except their flag. The French on the other hand, began their revolution with a "Declaration of the Rights of Man." Now, that's a sentiment one can get behind! They celebrated their liberty by executing their former masters. What's a revolution without a beheading or two, I always say. It seems more sincere to me.

So, anyway, back to our side of the pond...

"The people are uninformed, and would be misled by a few designing men." -- Delegate Elbridge Gerry, July 19, 1787 at the Constitutional Convention commenting against allowing a popular vote for President.

Alexander Hamilton argued that the populace might fall for a man with, "...talents for low intrigue, and the little arts of popularity,..." and therefore couldn't be trusted to elect the chief executive. So, the Founding Fathers, ahem, I mean the "Framers (non-gender specific, though we all know they were men,)" created the Electoral College to choose who should sit in the highest office. Soon, the general public began clamoring for their right to vote for idiots and charlatans, and the government gave in and allowed the popular vote. The Electoral College still elected the President, but, at least, you got the illusion of participating. Shortly thereafter (well, in 1913,) Congress decided that the public was ready to vote for their Senators and passed the XVII Amendment (before that, Senators were appointed by states' Governors.) My God, with all the voting power we have now, does that mean that the people are actually in charge? No, no, don't worry, the public are still firmly under the thumb of their oppressors. The evidence is right there in the 2000 election. Don't take my word for it, the evidence is also on the ten dollar bill. Take a look, who's there? Why, it's our old pal Alexander Hamilton, who didn't trust the people. What's he doing there? He was never President, was he? No, he was Secretary of the Treasury. He's there because money is the driving force behind our government today, just as it was for the Framers.

So, here we are living in a 'snafu.' Situation Normal, All Fucked Up. Comforting to know all's normal, isn't it? Happy Bastille Day!

Hasta la victoria siempre,

TVD

--- 7/14/03

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